I am a stay at home mom (mostly). I read. I often read snippets here and there, whole books, non-fiction, fiction, you name it. I like blogs and articles, too. A couple of years ago, I read a book about the mommy wars and since then I have tried to keep at least one finger on the pulse of the arguments (conversations?) between women who are mothers. In my own way, as time passes, I can't help but feel like everyone is missing the deeper points of introspection offered by it all.
1. Clearly, all women have different personalities and different life experiences and different opinions. It's totally fine; and it totally makes other women angry. I'm not exactly sure why, but I would guess it has something to do with the insane amount of pressure women are under - mostly from themselves- to believe in what they are doing, the choices they make, without adhering to a group wholeheartedly that they agree with. I think women are awesome and most days I kind of feel like a big failure - this doesn't really make sense and I think it is more common than it feels.
2. Why do we need to feel that we are marking off boxes and stepping up to the plate by following a structure provided to us - which clearly, we have been trained to rely on - in order to feel like we are doing alright? in order to feel like we are keeping the confusion monster at bay? what is the confusion monster? what is wrong with being confused and thinking, for days,weeks, about how we approach our lives rather than where we fit in? is it okay to slow down and wonder? does a job give us worth that we otherwise wouldn't be able to acquire? does being a parent? WHY? some of the questions I come up with when I read... and talk... to moms.
3. I think #1 is a distraction. I think #2 is what our time would be better spent thinking about and engaging in 'conversations' regarding. Peel back the onion, ladies and gentleman. Stop and think and wait - but most importantly, learn to identify when the world is trying to distract you from the things that mean a lot to you by teaching you not to see them at all in the first place.
I would love to talk about this - what do you think?
Linda R. Hirshman http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/06/16/AR2006061601766.html
Leslie Morgan Steiner http://www.amazon.com/Mommy-Wars-Stay-at-Home-Choices-Families/dp/1400064155
Elisabeth Badinter http://www.huffingtonpost.com/elisabeth-badinter/tyranny-of-modern-motherhood_b_1446962.html
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